Do you think depression causes people to have affairs?

General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

Today, 01:37 PM	? #3 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Alberta Posts: 4,079	No, depression does not cause people to cheat. When someone is in a ****ty marriage, or has depression, or whatever else is wrong in their life, they make choices, just like we all do. Cheating is a choice. The fact that someone chooses to cheat is a result of selfishness, when you get right down to it. They feel entitled, they feel they 'deserve' it somehow. They can rationalize to themselves that something 'caused' it, but by doing so they are failing to take responsibility for it, and failing to admit they have a problem that needs fixing. My husband is a sex addict. But that did not cause him to cheat. HE caused him to cheat. The fact he is a sex addict determined HOW he cheated, but not THAT he cheated. He is also in recovery, which means he is still a sex addict but is no longer cheating. He is taking responsibility for what he did and taking steps to ensure it never happens again.
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Today, 02:14 PM	? #8 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The Most DANGEROUS City in America! Posts: 1,878	I'm not a shrink and I've never dealt with depression (either in myself or a family member). Logically, though, it would seem extremely unlikely as Kathy pointed out: Quote: Originally posted by KathyBatesel: A person who is clinically depressed is unlikely to have the motivation, energy, or interest to pursue cheating. If you're involved in an affair, you have to spif yourself up! No-one is going to have an affair with an unwashed, unshaven, unkempt, joyless person! It doesn't make sense. Fear is a much more LIKELY motivator for an affair. Fear of dying, of not achieving goals, of not being recognized, of not mattering, of not getting what WE think we deserve, of 'missing out', etc. This seems a MUCH MORE LIKELY scenario. 'I will have lived, had children, built my business, died...and in 20-50 years it will all have meant NOTHING. Why did I bother?' As previously pointed out, a sense of entitlement is ALSO found in large measure in cheaters (especially serial cheaters).
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Today, 02:17 PM	? #9 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 1,999	Quote: I think depression is independent of cheating. A person who is clinically depressed is unlikely to have the motivation, energy, or interest to pursue cheating. But if they perceive an opportunity and feel it can ease their symptoms, though, they might seize the chance. I agree with what I have emboldened. I think it takes someone outside of the marriage to come along and "help" the depressed person, thereby affording the opportunity to cheat. Then it is a decision based on lots of things including, but not limited to boundaries, etc. I don't believe a truly depressed person would even feel good enough to be sexually attracted to anyone because they don't believe themselves to be attractive. They would only have sex in a relationship out of pure physical need. This is depression, not feeling poorly. __________________ "anything I did better today than I did yesterday is progress" - Saki
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Today, 02:21 PM	? #10 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 1,999	Quote: I'm not a shrink and I've never dealt with depression (either in myself or a family member). Logically, though, it would seem extremely unlikely as Kathy pointed out: If you're involved in an affair, you have to spif yourself up! No-one is going to have an affair with an unwashed, unshaven, unkempt, joyless person! It doesn't make sense. Fear is a much more LIKELY motivator for an affair. Fear of dying, of not achieving goals, of not being recognized, of not mattering, of not getting what WE think we deserve, of 'missing out', etc. This seems a MUCH MORE LIKELY scenario. 'I will have lived, had children, built my business, died...and in 20-50 years it will all have meant NOTHING. Why did I bother?' As previously pointed out, a sense of entitlement is ALSO found in large measure in cheaters (especially serial cheaters). Not meaning to be rude. Thought this was entitlement? __________________ "anything I did better today than I did yesterday is progress" - Saki
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Today, 02:40 PM	? #15 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 488	Quote: I'm dealing with depression, and the truth is, I feel the same as GTdad, I don't have the slightest inclination to cheat, right now, I don't even want anything to do with the lower half of my body, much less have someone else see/touch/whatever with it. I'm sure people deal with depression in their own way, but as far as myself, I have gotten to the point where I feel that the physical aspect of my life is over... I waited alot longer than I should have to get help, because I had long bought into ideas about "shrinks" and "hanging tough" and "just getting over it". I hope you're smarted than me, and have sought out some assistance. There's no shame at all in getting help.
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Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/65651-do-you-think-depression-causes-people-have-affairs.html

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Algeria military in ?air, ground assault? on gas complex

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NOUAKCHOTT: The Algerian military launched on Thursday an air and ground assault on a desert gas complex where militants were still holding an unknown number of hostages, one of the kidnappers told the ANI news agency.

?Warplanes and ground units have begun an operation to take the complex by force,? the spokesman said, threatening to ?kill all the hostages if the Algerian forces succeed in entering the complex.?

Earlier, Algeria?s APS news agency said the army had freed four foreigners, two Britons, a Frenchman and a Kenyan, and 600 Algerian workers being held at the In Amenas plant, in southeastern Algeria.

The report, citing local sources, said an unspecified number of people were killed in the rescue operation, after the kidnapper?s spokesman claimed an army air strike killed 34 hostages and 15 militants.

The head of a French catering company had said 150 of its Algerian employees were being held at the remote gas plant, jointly operated by British oil giant BP, Norway?s Statoil and Algeria?s Sonatrach, near the Libyan border.

The heavily armed militants launched their attack on Wednesday morning, killing two people, including one Briton. They also took scores of Algerians and 41 foreigners hostage, among them American, British, French, Irish, Norwegian and Japanese citizens.

A foreign diplomat in Algiers said the rescue mission ?did not go too well for the hostages,? adding that the army operations were ongoing late afternoon.

Earlier on Thursday, APS said some 30 Algerian workers managed to escape from their captors. Private TV channel Ennahar said 15 foreigners, including a French couple, had also escaped.

The Irish foreign ministry said an Irish passport holder from Belfast was free and in good health.

The gunmen said the attack was in retaliation for Algeria supporting French airstrikes in Mali and demanded the release of militants in exchange for the hostages, calling on the army to pull out of the area to allow negotiations to begin.

Algerian Interior Minister Dahou Ould Kablia insisted on Wednesday that Algiers would not negotiate with the ?terrorists.?

A spokesman from British Prime Minister David Cameron said he would have preferred to have been informed in advance of the army?s assault, but was instead contacted by his Algerian counterpart at 1130 GMT, after it had begun.

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Source: http://dawn.com/2013/01/17/algeria-military-in-air-ground-assault-on-gas-complex/

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Reports on ?danger of energy drinks? stimulate Australian concerns

• January 17, 2013
• Allison Van Beers

A report just out of the US is highlighting a surge in the number of hospital emergency admissions involving energy drinks. The news is stirring up Australian discussions surrounding such beverages.

In the January 2013 issue of the American Drug Abuse Warning Network (DAWN) Report, published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, energy drinks have been attributed as the cause of over 20,000 emergency department visits in the US.

Energy drinks contain substantial amounts of caffeine (including caffeine from guarana) and there are classes of consumers for whom consumption in large doses can pose significant cardiovascular risks.

When consumption of such drinks is mixed with consumption of alcohol, the risks appear to be exacerbated.

Previously reported in Australian Food News, a 2012 University of Tasmania study raised concerns that consuming caffeinated alcoholic beverages leads to ?potential increases in maladaptive drinking practices, negative psychological and physiological intoxication side effects, and risky behavioural outcomes?.

Caffeinated alcoholic beverages (CABs) have also been found, by several studies, to contribute to arrhythmia, severe dehydration, and erratic behaviour.

The January 2013 DAWN report out of the US said that 13% of the energy drink-related emergency department visits also included alcohol.

In June 2012, Australian Food News reported on findings concerning the death of Melbourne teenager Sara Milosevic following consumption of three cans of a caffeinated alcoholic beverage.

Current regulation of energy drinks in Australia

In Australia, caffeine is considered a food additive and is regulated under the Australia New Zealand Food Standards Code. Standard 2.6.4 limits the maximum amount of caffeine to 320 mg per litre and requires additional labelling advising that the products are not suitable for young children, pregnant or lactating women and ?individuals sensitive to caffeine?.

Under the Standard, the container of the energy drink must also include an advisory statement recommending consumption to a limit of 500ml (two cans) a day.

Questions are being asked as to whether labelling laws are a solution. After all, who reads the fine print on a coloured can in the dark of the night? Moreover, if a young adult on a hot evening has never previously over-indulged in drinking a mix of alcohol with a sweet drink, there may not be any prior history of cardiac arrhythmia or an awareness of that individual?s sensitivity to caffeine. What will stop a young adult drinking more than two cans of a caffeinated beverage in quick succession?

Further review of laws in Australia

Australia?s Legislative Governance Forum on Food Regulation (the Forum) has recently commenced a full review of the 2003 Policy Guideline on caffeine in foods and beverages.

The Forum is expected to make that review available for public consultation in March 2013.

An investigation into the prevalence of energy drinks mixed with alcohol is currently also underway in New South Wales with results scheduled for release by mid-February 2013.

Earlier in 2011, the government of Western Australia banned the sale of alcohol mixed with energy drinks in clubs after midnight.

Source: http://www.ausfoodnews.com.au/2013/01/17/reports-on-%E2%80%9Cdanger-of-energy-drinks%E2%80%9D-stimulate-australian-concerns.html

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